Feb 2, 2011

In the event of emergency

My experienced burner friend sent me this, half for the humor value, half to tease me, and half I think to remind me that I need to be mentally prepared to face the unexpected fiasco at Burning Man. (yes I know three halves adds up to 150%)

Incidentally it was this photo of a wind destroyed Xara that I emailed to my folks to explain why I was having 18" long solid steel tent stakes shipped to their house.

Tonight my main partner in crime and I got to talking about the circumstances under which we'd say "enough is enough" and pack up and leave; they mostly involve freakish acts of god. I'm bringing extra water/food, extra shoes in the event of mud, and even a few orange Home Depot buckets in case there's a porta potty crisis of some sorts.

Yes, I am mentally prepared to shit in a plastic bucket and then carry it away for disposal later.

Some people have visions of how they are going to die. As a group we have decided that a renegade art car possibly shaped like a whale/pirate-ship/platypus/vagina is going to plow into our shade dome.

In our imaginations it can't be just a run of the mill mediocre art car that takes out the dome, it has to be a spectacular one.

Hopefully we won't be IN the dome at the time of the crash but perhaps nearby as to see the destruction first hand and hopefully laugh after we're done being horrified.


  1. Fate will befall you, oh yes. But never the fate you expect - and always the wilder and more wonderful fate than you fear.

    Here's our story of How to Not Get Killed at Burning Man: http://www.xylovan.com/2010/09/how-not-to-get-killed-at-burning-man-2010/

  2. If you even THINK of bailing, and those around you cannot dissuade you, come look up Strange and Charm in Hushville. There is no good reason ever to leave, when someone, anyone, will gladly help. I mean it.
    Strange Quark

  3. Thanks, you know Hushville is actually where we're already planning on camping :)

  4. Once you go to Burning Man you can never really leave Burning Man.

  5. Yeah, my little group of 3 burners had a pact the first year that no one would be considered a wuss if they felt like bailing for whatever reason. We even went so far as to map out a bailout plan. Somehow the mere fact that we knew we could bail if we needed/wanted to did the trick. We went, had a great time and we've gone again.

    This year our original group of 3 will grow to 10 with the other 7 being virgins. We'll offer everyone the same pact we made the first year. I'm betting no one bails...but if they do, no abuse, no teasing, no taunting with 'you shoulda....'. Everyone has to find their own path.

    We'll be Camp Two Two...location will be dictated by the whims of the playa.

  6. OMG I can't stop laughing at this. It just HAS TO BE something spectacular, that completely DEMOLISHES the dome. Only then can we rightly say that we had the "experience." Hell even if it ends up being a lame ass art car that brings on the demise of the dome I will tell it like it was something of fantastically epic shit show'ery. I mean I'm a creative writer, I can come up with some shizzz. However, if some giant Vagina car starts pummeling its way toward us I will be outta there faster than you can say, "Holy Vagina Car Batman!" that or I'll just throw T at it in attempt to appease the Gods through his sacrifice. That would be a story, "Hey everyone T got eating by a giant Vagina car, no really." haha!!

    Burning Man - BRING IT!!